People Will Forget What You Said, But Will Never Forget How You Made Them Feel

There are two people you will never forget:

The one who lost you when you were fully present

and

The one who found you when you were completely lost.

It got me thinking...

We all know that words have a certain power, but have you ever noticed that it's not always what people say that sticks with you? It's how they make you feel.

Think about it. Have you ever had a conversation with someone where you can't remember the exact words they said, but you remember feeling heard, understood, and valued?

Or on the other hand, have you ever had a conversation with someone where the words were technically correct, but the tone or delivery left you feeling hurt, angry, or frustrated?

Consider my client, Sylvie. She recounted a relationship where her partner showered her with compliments and grand gestures. Yet, beneath the surface, she often felt overlooked and undervalued. It's like receiving a beautifully wrapped gift only to find it empty inside. The dissonance between words and feelings left her with a lingering sense of emptiness.

On the flip side, there's Michael, who, during a tumultuous period in his life, encountered a mentor. This individual didn't offer profound advice or solutions but provided a consistent, empathetic presence. Michael couldn't recall specific conversations, but he vividly remembered the warmth and understanding he felt. It's like being lost in a storm and finding a lighthouse guiding you to safety.

Psychologically, our brains are wired to prioritize emotional experiences. Research indicates that emotions play a pivotal role in memory retention, often overshadowing the factual content of interactions. This phenomenon, known as the "affect heuristic," suggests that our feelings significantly influence our perceptions and decisions.

In relationships, being fully present can profoundly impact emotional connections. Engaging mindfully with others fosters deeper bonds and mutual understanding. Practicing deep validation is one of the most powerful ways to be present with someone.

So, perhaps it's time we shift our focus from crafting perfect words to cultivating genuine presence. After all, it's the emotions we stir, not the speeches we deliver, that linger in the hearts of others. And maybe, by being truly present, we can become the unforgettable figures in someone's life story.