The Day You Plant The Seed Is Not The Day You Eat The Fruit

Patience is just faith in slow motion.

It got me thinking...

Why is it that we expect life to reward us the moment we put in the effort? We start a new habit, begin therapy, or set a goal, and then grow frustrated when the results don’t show up immediately. It’s like we’ve been conditioned to believe that progress should be as instant as a text message. And maybe that’s why so many of us give up before we see the results. We forget that the day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit.

Take my client, Rachel. She came to me after months of trying to “fix” her life. She’d started journaling, meditating, and even exercising regularly, but she still felt stuck. “I’m doing everything right,” she said, “so why don’t I feel better yet?” Rachel wasn’t just impatient, she was disheartened. She was putting in the work but expecting the kind of instant gratification that our modern world has trained us to expect. But here’s the thing: the brain doesn’t work on a fast-forward timeline.

Science tells us that real, lasting change takes time. Studies on neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to rewire itself, show that it takes consistent effort to create new neural pathways. For example, research on habit formation suggests that it takes an average of 66 days to form a new habit, not the 21 days that pop psychology often claims. And when it comes to emotional healing, the timeline is even less predictable. The brain needs time to process, adapt, and integrate new ways of thinking and feeling. It’s not a straight line; it’s a slow, winding process.

Rachel’s frustration wasn’t a sign that she was failing, it was a sign that she was growing. Growth is uncomfortable because it requires patience, and patience is hard because it requires trust. Trust that the work you’re doing now will pay off later. Trust that the seed you planted will bear fruit, even if you can’t see it yet.

This isn’t just about habits or healing, it’s about how the brain learns and adapts. When you start something new, whether it’s therapy, a fitness routine, or a mindfulness practice, your brain is essentially rewiring itself. It’s creating new connections between neurons, strengthening the pathways that support your new behavior or mindset. But this process takes time. Think of it like building a bridge, each small action you take is another plank in the structure. At first, it feels like nothing is happening, but eventually, you’ll have a solid foundation.

Rachel and I worked on shifting her focus from the outcome to the process. Instead of asking, “Why don’t I feel better yet?” she started asking, “What small progress have I made today?” She began to notice subtle changes; her anxiety wasn’t as overwhelming, her sleep was improving, and she was starting to feel more present in her daily life. These weren’t the dramatic results she was hoping for, but they were signs that the seed was growing roots.

Science also shows us the importance of consistency. In one study on behavior change, researchers found that small, consistent actions over time are far more effective than big, sporadic efforts. It’s not about doing everything perfectly, it’s about showing up, even when it feels like nothing is happening. Because something is happening. Beneath the surface, the seed is growing.

So the next time you feel frustrated by slow progress, remember this: your brain, your body, and your emotions are all working behind the scenes, even if you can’t see it yet. Growth takes time. Healing takes time. Change takes time. But every small step you take is a step closer to the life you’re building. And maybe that’s the kind of progress that matters most.