If You Had Complete Success Life Would Be Empty

The Paradox of Success: The empty fullness.

It got me thinking...

At first, this line feels counterintuitive. Isn’t the whole point of success to fill our lives with meaning, satisfaction, and joy? I see this paradox play out in real-time with my clients, and, if I’m being honest, in myself.

It’s like ordering the most decadent dessert at a five-star restaurant, expecting bliss in every bite, only to find it’s a little… too sweet. The thrill of indulgence wears off quickly, leaving you wondering if maybe the simplicity of a good old chocolate chip cookie would’ve been better.

The human brain thrives on the pursuit, not the finish line. Neuroscience shows that dopamine, the “feel-good” chemical, is more active during the anticipation of a reward than the reward itself. This is why chasing success feels so exhilarating and why reaching the peak can sometimes leave us feeling oddly flat.

One client, a high-powered attorney, comes to mind. Let’s call her Lisa. She’d spent years grinding to make partner at her firm, a goal that consumed her every waking thought. When she finally achieved it, she expected fireworks, confetti, the works. Instead, she confessed in our session, “I thought I’d feel… different. But it’s just another title. What now?”

Lisa’s experience isn’t unique. Studies in psychology suggest that achieving major goals without a clear sense of "what comes next"  can lead to a phenomenon called post-achievement letdown. It’s the emotional equivalent of a sugar crash after a massive slice of cake.

Another client, a tech entrepreneur, built his startup from the ground up. After selling it for millions, he felt… lost. “I thought money would solve everything,” he admitted. “But now I wake up and wonder what I’m supposed to do with myself.”

This highlights a key issue: when success becomes the sole purpose of our lives, we risk losing touch with what actually makes us feel fulfilled. Relationships, personal growth, and meaningful challenges; these are the spices that make the dish of life truly flavorful.

It’s time we rewrite the narrative. Success isn’t a destination; it’s a series of pit stops along the way. Science backs this up. Research suggests that people who find joy in small, incremental achievements are happier than those who obsess over massive, long-term goals. It’s the journey, not the destination that brings lasting fulfillment.

So, how do we break free from the paradox of success? Start by asking yourself: "What am I chasing, and why?" Are you climbing the corporate ladder because you love the work, or because you think the title will make you feel whole? Are you pursuing financial freedom because it aligns with your values, or because you think it’ll buy happiness?

In the end, complete success might just be a mirage, a tempting illusion that distracts us from the beauty of the journey itself. So, the next time you’re striving for that elusive “complete success,” pause for a moment. Take a deep breath. Savor the process. Because life’s fullness isn’t in the final dish; it’s in every taste test along the way.

I can’t help but wonder: are we too focused on the endgame to enjoy the little wins that make life worth living?