Your Vibe Doesn’t Just Attract Your Tribe, Your Tribe Shapes Your Vibe

Your roots may be wild, but they’re what make you bloom.

It got me thinking...

“You’re going to be fine. You come from a strong line of lunatics.” That’s what my client, Sophie, told herself after a particularly rough week. Her words were half a joke, half a mantra, but they stuck with me. There’s something oddly comforting about the idea that our quirks, our chaos, our so-called “lunacy” might actually be our strength. And maybe that’s the secret to resilience: not running from the madness, but embracing it.

Sophie had been struggling with a breakup, a job she hated, and the creeping feeling that she was stuck in a loop she couldn’t escape. “I keep going back to the same people, the same patterns,” she said. “It’s like I’m trying to rewrite my past instead of writing my future.” And there it was; the crux of the problem.

Sophie was hanging out with people who fit her history, not her future. She was clinging to the familiar, even when it no longer served her.

It’s like wearing a pair of shoes that don’t fit anymore. Sure, they were comfortable once, but now they pinch, they rub, they hold you back. And yet, you keep putting them on because they’re yours. They’ve been with you through so much. But here’s the thing: you can’t walk into your future if you’re limping in your past.

And here’s where the science comes in. Studies on social networks show that the people we surround ourselves with have a profound impact on our behavior, our mindset, even our health. If you’re constantly around people who reinforce old habits, it’s harder to break free from them. But when you spend time with people who inspire growth, who challenge you to be better, you start to rise to their level. It’s called the “social contagion effect,” and it’s real.

Sophie wasn’t just stuck in her past, she was surrounded by it. Her friends, her ex, even her coworkers all reminded her of who she used to be, not who she wanted to become. “I feel like I’m trying to climb out of a hole, but everyone around me keeps pulling me back in,” she said. “How do I move forward when I’m surrounded by anchors?”

The answer? You don’t just cut the anchors, you find wings.

You seek out people who lift you, who see your potential, who fit the life you’re trying to build. It’s not about abandoning your past, it’s about choosing your future. And maybe that starts with embracing the lunacy. Because the truth is, we’re all a little crazy. We all have our baggage, our scars, our messy, beautiful humanity. But when you come from a strong line of lunatics, you also come from a strong line of survivors, of fighters, of people who know how to turn chaos into strength.

I’ve come to realize that life is a rollercoaster, and sometimes, we need a little reminder that we’re going to be fine. Who wants to be boring and normal all the time? It’s our quirks and eccentricities that make us stand out from the crowd. And chances are, those quirks were passed down to us by our ancestors; those crazy, lovable lunatics we call family. A lineage of individuals who dared to be different, who challenged the status quo, and who pursued their passions even when others thought they were crazy. Their legacy of strength and resilience lives on in us.

But here’s the thing, while our lunacy might be endearing, it’s not always enough to get us to where we want to go in life. That’s why we need to surround ourselves with people who fit our future, not our history. It’s easy to fall into the trap of hanging out with the same people, doing the same things, and expecting different results. But that’s just insanity, isn’t it?

Sophie started small. She joined a book club, signed up for a yoga class, and reconnected with an old friend who had always been a source of positivity. “It’s like I’m finally giving myself permission to grow,” she said. “I’m still me, but I’m a me who’s moving forward.”

It’s like planting a garden. You don’t throw away the soil, you use it. You take the mess, the madness, the history, and you let it nourish something new. Because in the end, you’re going to be fine. Chaos runs in your veins, but so does resilience.