Too Bad You Can't Photoshop A Bad Personality

A bad personality is like a bad breath for your soul.

It got me thinking...

When it comes to mental health, our personalities play a significant role. How we treat others, our level of empathy and compassion, and our overall attitude can have a profound impact on our mental well-being. I can't help but wonder why some people are so obsessed with their appearance. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for a little bit of self-care and pampering, and gorgeous shoes. But when it comes down to it, your personality is what really counts.

Sure, you can Photoshop your selfies to make your skin look flawless and your eyes sparkle. But you can't Photoshop a bad personality. No amount of makeup or filters can hide the fact that you're rude, selfish, or just plain unpleasant to be around.

And here's the thing: a bad personality doesn't just affect you. It affects everyone around you. It's like a toxic cloud that follows you wherever you go, leaving a trail of unhappy people in your wake.

Now, I'm not saying that everyone has to be a perfect angel all the time. We all have our bad days and moments of weakness. But there are some people who seem to revel in their bad behaviour, like it's some sort of badge of honour.

Take my client, Vanessa. She came to me after a string of failed friendships, frustrated and confused. “I don’t get it,” she said. “I’m fun, I’m successful, I’m attractive, why don’t people stick around?” On paper, Vanessa had it all. Her Instagram was a highlight reel of vacations, designer outfits, and perfectly curated brunches. But in real life, she struggled to connect. “People just don’t get me,” she said, but the truth was, Vanessa didn’t get herself. She was so focused on looking good that she forgot to be good.

It’s like wrapping a gift in beautiful paper but forgetting to put anything inside the box. Sure, it looks great at first glance, but once people open it, they’re left disappointed. And maybe that’s the problem with prioritizing appearances over authenticity: eventually, the truth comes out.

Science backs this up. Research on personality and relationships shows that traits like kindness, empathy, and emotional intelligence are far more important than physical attractiveness or social status when it comes to forming meaningful connections. In fact, studies have found that people are more likely to remember how you made them feel than what you looked like. Your personality is your calling card, your legacy, your real “profile picture.” And no amount of filters can fix a bad one.

Vanessa’s problem wasn’t her looks or her success, it was her lack of self-awareness. She was so busy curating her image that she forgot to cultivate her character. But here’s the thing: you can’t Photoshop a bad personality. You can’t edit out arrogance or crop out cruelty. And maybe that’s a good thing. Because while appearances fade, a good personality only gets better with time.

This isn’t to say that appearances don’t matter at all. First impressions are important, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to look your best. But the key is balance. If you spend hours perfecting your makeup but can’t spare five minutes to reflect on how you treat others, you’re missing the point. The goal isn’t to be perfect, it’s to be real.

Vanessa and I worked on shifting her focus from how she looked to how she made people feel. Instead of asking, “Do they think I’m pretty?” she started asking, “Do they think I’m kind? Do they feel heard when they’re with me?” It wasn’t easy, self-reflection never is, but over time, she started to see the cracks in her mirror. And instead of hiding them, she began to fix them.

Because here’s the truth: your personality is your most important feature. It’s what people remember long after the photo fades. It’s what makes you magnetic, memorable, and meaningful. And the best part? You don’t need a filter to improve it. You just need a little self-awareness, a little humility, and a lot of heart.

It’s like realizing that the best photos are the candid ones, the ones where you’re laughing, messy, and completely yourself. They might not be perfect, but they’re real.