Sometimes When You Are In a Dark Place You Think You Have Been Buried

But actually you have been planted.

It got me thinking....

It’s the kind of thinking that creeps in when everything feels like it’s falling apart. You know the feeling; when life gets messy, the stress piles on, and all you want is a sign that it’s going to get better. But instead, all you see is darkness, and you can’t shake the thought that maybe, just maybe, you’ve been buried.

But here’s the thing no one tells you when you’re in that dark place: sometimes, you haven’t been buried, you’ve been planted.

You see, in psychology, this is known as the growth mindset; a beautiful, optimistic belief that challenges and setbacks aren’t permanent states. Instead, they’re opportunities for transformation. It’s like a seed in the soil, darkness is necessary for growth. The soil, though messy and uncomfortable, is the very place where new life begins.

Take Jessica, for example. She came into my office a few months ago, convinced her life was over. She’d just been laid off, was navigating a rocky breakup, and was facing health issues that left her feeling stuck. “It’s like everything I’ve worked for has crumbled,” she told me, her voice trembling. “I’m buried under all this stuff. I’ll never recover.”

But here’s what I told her: "Jessica, you’re not buried, you’re planted. This is where the growth starts." And just like a plant pushing through the soil, the discomfort she felt would eventually give way to something stronger, something more resilient.

And that’s the magic of life’s darkest moments, they’re the fertile ground for transformation. According to research, when we experience adversity, our brains are forced to adapt. Neurons rewire, and our thinking evolves. It’s like we’re getting our own personal makeover, and the painful process is simply part of the design.

It’s like emotional composting. The tough moments are messy, sure. But like compost, they help nurture the soil from which resilience can bloom.

Think about Ben. He had a rough year; a job loss, followed by a string of personal setbacks. He felt like he’d hit rock bottom. One day, he told me, “I feel like I’ve been buried in all of this. Like I’m stuck with no way out.” But through our sessions, he began to realize something: the darkness he was in wasn’t the end, it was the beginning.

We worked on reframing his experiences, not as a graveyard, but as fertile ground where new possibilities could sprout. A few months later, Ben had not only found a new job, but he had also developed a whole new perspective on his life. He wasn’t just surviving; he was growing in ways he never expected.

It’s like the metaphorical "dark place" is actually a greenhouse, where the right conditions allow you to grow and flourish.

Those moments of feeling buried are the most important ones of all. Maybe those moments are when we’re planting the seeds for something bigger, something better. It’s all about how we choose to view them.

We often get stuck in our heads, telling ourselves we’re buried under the weight of the world. But the reality is, if we’re in the dark, it’s only because we’re waiting to bloom. The struggle? It’s the fertilizer for the soul.

So, here’s a thought: the next time life feels like it’s pushing you into the ground, try shifting your perspective. You’re not buried. You’re planted. And with a little time, patience, and a lot of self-compassion, you’ll see how the darkest soil gives way to the most beautiful growth.