Laziness a Sign Of Being Lost?

Drifting in the stillness of nowhere

It got me thinking...

Why do we call it laziness when, deep down, it feels like something else entirely? I’ve learned that what we label as "lazy" is often a mask for something more complicated. It’s not about being unwilling to act, it’s about not knowing what to act on. Laziness isn’t a lack of effort; it’s a lack of direction. It’s like standing in the middle of a forest with no map, no compass, and no idea which way to go. So, you sit down. Not because you’re lazy, but because you’re lost.

Take my client, Rachel. She came to me saying, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t get anything done. I just sit on the couch all day scrolling through my phone.” On the surface, it sounded like classic laziness. But as we dug deeper, it became clear that Rachel wasn’t lazy; she was overwhelmed. She had so many options, so many paths she could take, that she froze. Her "laziness" was her brain’s way of saying, “I don’t know where to start.”

It’s like staring at a blank page when you’re supposed to write an essay. The emptiness is paralyzing, not because you don’t want to write, but because you don’t know how to begin. And maybe that’s the real problem. Laziness isn’t a character flaw; it’s a symptom. A sign that something inside you is stuck, unsure, or afraid.

Then there’s David, who told me he felt lazy because he couldn’t bring himself to apply for new jobs. “I just don’t have the energy,” he said, slumping in his chair. But as we talked, it became clear that his "laziness" was actually fear. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of stepping into the unknown. His lack of action wasn’t about being unmotivated; it was about being scared. And fear, as it turns out, is a master of disguise. It can look like procrastination, avoidance, or even laziness, but underneath, it’s something much deeper.

It’s like trying to drive a car with the emergency brake on. You press the gas, but you’re not going anywhere. The problem isn’t the engine, it’s the brake. And until you release it, you’ll stay stuck, no matter how hard you try.

The science backs this up. Studies show that what we perceive as laziness is often linked to a lack of clarity, purpose, or emotional regulation. When we don’t have a clear goal or when our emotions are weighing us down, our brains struggle to muster the energy to act. It’s not that we’re lazy, it’s that we’re lost in the fog of indecision or emotional overload.

So how do we find our way out? It starts with asking the right questions. Instead of beating yourself up for being lazy, ask yourself: What’s really holding me back? Is it fear? Overwhelm? A lack of direction? Once you identify the root cause, you can start to address it. Break your goals into smaller, manageable steps. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. And most importantly, give yourself grace. You’re not lazy, you’re human.

One of my clients, Murielle, found this approach transformative. She had been calling herself lazy for months because she couldn’t bring herself to start a fitness routine. But when we explored it, we discovered that her "laziness" was actually a fear of failure. She was afraid she wouldn’t stick with it, so she didn’t start at all. Once she recognized this, she gave herself permission to start small, just a ten-minute walk each day. And guess what? That small step turned into a habit, and that habit turned into a lifestyle.

Maybe that’s all you need to get unstuck. Laziness isn’t the end of the road; it’s just a sign that you need to find a new path.