It's Not Hard, It's Just New

Step into the discomfort, and watch how clarity and confidence follow.

It got me thinking.....

In a world obsessed with shortcuts and instant results, we often overlook the truth that many challenges aren’t difficult; they’re simply unfamiliar. Embracing the unknown, instead of fearing it, opens the door to growth. Sitting at my desk, I ponder one of life’s most pervasive misconceptions: the belief that something is "too hard." Whether it's learning a new skill, starting a fresh relationship, or simply embracing change, so many of us retreat at the first sign of discomfort. But here's a radical thought; maybe it’s not hard. Maybe it’s just new.

Take my client, Lydia, for example. Lydia had just started her first pottery class at 43. She sat in my office, her hands fidgeting as she confessed, “I’m terrible at it. I can't even shape a bowl.” I smiled and asked, “Were you expecting to sculpt the next Mona Lisa of ceramics on day one?” She laughed nervously. Lydia wasn’t struggling because pottery was inherently hard; she was struggling because she hadn’t yet learned how to work with clay.

Science backs this up: our brains resist newness. When we try something unfamiliar, our prefrontal cortex, the part responsible for decision-making and attention, goes into overdrive. It’s like trying to run a marathon with a GPS that keeps recalculating. We stumble, we doubt ourselves, and we confuse discomfort with difficulty. But here’s the kicker: with practice, our neural pathways adapt, and what once felt insurmountable becomes second nature.

It’s like learning to ride a bike. At first, the handlebars wobble, and you’re convinced you’ll topple over at any moment. But once you get the hang of it, you’re gliding down the street, wondering why you ever doubted yourself.

Then there’s Derek, a client who spent years in a toxic work environment. After finally landing a new job, he came to me, exasperated: “Everything feels so overwhelming. Maybe I’m just not cut out for this.” But when we unpacked his stress, it wasn’t the work itself that was difficult, it was navigating an entirely different culture and set of expectations. I told him, “It’s not about being good right away. It’s about allowing yourself to be new.”

And maybe, just maybe, that’s where we falter the most. We expect mastery without embracing the awkward beginnings. We want to feel confident without enduring the initial stumbles. But growth doesn’t work like that. As psychologist Carol Dweck famously says, it’s about adopting a growth mindset, one that sees challenges not as barriers, but as opportunities to learn.

So, what’s the secret? Give yourself grace. Acknowledge that newness feels uncomfortable, but it’s not impossible. Whether it’s learning to set boundaries, taking up a hobby, or trying a different way of thinking, allow yourself to be the beginner.

The next time you find yourself saying, “This is too hard,” pause and reframe. It’s not hard; it’s just new. And new doesn’t last forever.

Because when you embrace the awkward, the unfamiliar, and the slightly terrifying, you’ll find that the greatest achievements aren’t born from instant ease; they’re crafted from patience, persistence, and the courage to try again.