Cluttered Home, Cluttered Mind

A cluttered home is like a browser with too many tabs open.

No wonder you feel overwhelmed.

It got me thinking...

As a therapist, and someone who has absolutely pretended not to see that chair-pile of laundry in my own bedroom, I’ve come to realize that mess isn’t just about aesthetics. It’s about energy, emotion, and, let’s be honest, avoidance. Because if our homes are a reflection of our minds, then some of us are living inside a very loud, very chaotic group chat.

It turns out, science agrees. Studies found that women who described their homes as cluttered had higher cortisol levels, meaning more stress, more fatigue, and more of that "why am I exhausted but haven’t done anything?" feeling. Neuroscientists at Princeton also found that physical clutter competes for our attention, making it harder to focus and process information. So if you can’t seem to concentrate at home, it might not be you; it might be that rogue stack of unopened mail silently judging you from across the room.

Take my client, Rachel. A high-achieving lawyer, running on caffeine and chaos, whose apartment looked like a legal brief exploded. Every available surface was covered, old case files, half-read books, three abandoned planners (from three different years). “I’ll deal with it later,” she told herself. But later never came. And neither did the sense of calm she so desperately craved. Rachel didn’t even realize how much her environment was affecting her until we started talking about her need for order in her life. Every pile of laundry was a metaphor for the unresolved emotions she’d been ignoring. As we worked on decluttering her space, literally and emotionally, Rachel began to feel more grounded. It was as if clearing her space helped her clear her mind.

Then there’s Jake, who moved into a new apartment after a breakup but never really moved in. Boxes sat unopened for months. The space felt temporary, like his life was still buffering. What he didn’t realize was that avoiding unpacking meant avoiding processing. When we finally tackled those boxes together, he wasn’t just sorting through clothes, he was sorting through grief.

But before we all start Marie Kondo-ing our way to inner peace, let’s make one distinction: clutter is one thing, but hoarding is another. While clutter can be a reflection of a chaotic schedule or emotional avoidance, hoarding is its more extreme cousin, an attachment so deep that objects become a safety net, an identity, a way of holding onto control. Hoarding isn’t about being messy; it’s about being stuck.

So maybe the old adage is right: Your space reflects your state of mind. If your home is filled with chaos, how can your mind be anything but? It’s not just about laundry piles or stray dishes; it’s about what they represent, the emotions we haven’t faced, the stories we’re still telling ourselves, and the parts of us waiting to be reclaimed.

Marie Kondo was onto something when she asked if our belongings spark joy. Because clutter isn’t just about things; it’s about the versions of ourselves we’re holding onto. The past we haven’t let go of.

So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a look around. Your home might be trying to tell you something. The question is are you ready to listen?