Stop Giving Meaning To Every Single Feeling

Not every feeling needs a thesis statement.

It got me thinking...

There’s a trend in therapy circles that keeps popping up, and I’m here to call it out: Stop giving meaning to every single feeling.

Now, before you accuse me of being a heartless therapist, hear me out. I’m all about validating emotions, every last one of them. Anger, sadness, confusion, joy, heck, even the mysterious ‘meh’ feeling deserves attention. But here’s the kicker: not every emotion needs to come with a full-on existential breakdown or a ten-page analysis.

Take Emma, for instance. She’d come to me after a particularly tough breakup, and every time I asked how she was feeling, she’d launch into a deep dive. “I feel lonely, but maybe that means I’m not good enough. Or maybe I’m just not meant to be loved. Oh, and is it normal to feel relieved? Or am I just lying to myself?”

And so on.

It was like every emotional wave had to be dissected with the precision of a brain surgeon, as if each feeling was some profound message from the universe. And while I appreciate Emma’s dedication to introspection, I couldn’t help but wonder: What if she didn’t need to find a cosmic reason behind every single emotion?

So, I gently told her: “Emma, sometimes your feelings are just feelings. They don’t need to be analyzed to death. You’re allowed to feel sad, but you don’t have to spend hours trying to figure out why. Sometimes, your feelings are just... you being human.”

It’s like this: we live in a culture where every feeling seems to demand an explanation. Feeling sad? There’s probably some deep childhood trauma to unpack. Feeling angry? Let’s search for the hidden root cause of that rage. But the truth is, emotions aren’t always riddles to solve. Sometimes they’re just our brain’s way of reacting to the world around us. No need to drag them into a philosophical debate every time.

In fact, there’s science to back this up. When we give too much meaning to every emotion, we actually create more stress. The brain can’t help but spiral, analyzing why we feel what we feel, and that only intensifies the emotional experience. In short, overanalyzing our emotions often amplifies them rather than providing any clarity.

I had another client, Mark, who was convinced that every feeling of irritability meant he was on the brink of a mental breakdown. He’d get mildly annoyed at a slow driver, and by the time he reached his destination, he’d be catastrophizing about his “failing mental health.” Sound familiar?

After working together, Mark learned that sometimes, a little irritability is just that; irritability. It’s not necessarily a sign of a bigger issue; sometimes, you’re just frustrated by a slow driver. And that’s okay.

We need to stop assigning existential significance to every emotion that crosses our path. Your feelings don’t always have to mean something deeper than what they are. Sometimes a bad mood is just a bad mood, and a joyful moment is just a joyful moment. It’s okay to not know exactly why you feel the way you do.

And maybe, by letting go of the need to overanalyze every feeling, we can free ourselves from the constant pressure of searching for meaning. We can just feel, without the emotional baggage of trying to decode every single sensation. It’s not about being oblivious to your emotions; it’s about accepting them without turning every feeling into an existential crisis.

So, the next time you catch yourself spiraling into a deep analysis of why you’re feeling a certain way, take a step back. Remember, not every feeling needs to come with a backstory. Sometimes, the simplest explanation is the best one: You’re just feeling what you’re feeling.

And guess what? That’s perfectly enough.